♥ ~ May♥~♥May ~ ♥

So much to update about so little time lol.

2006-02-04T13:43:48Z

Well... Things are going really good for me right now... I just moved back home from Alabama... I missed home... and Justins joining the Army... so I decided to come back home... My Tara picked me up at the station... I was so excited to see her... it was like crazy... I missed her bunches... shes my bestest friend... of the whole time we been friends... we've never fought... how ironic is that?? lol... ANYWAY! I've been up for like almost 72 hours straight lmfto... crazy... I can't wait to go to sleep... :-D

I don't even know what to say really.... There isn't much really that needs to be put into here....

I WENT TO SCHOOL AND GOT MY DEGREE.... ( for all you other losers who thought I wasn't gonna be shit... yea where are you now? lmfto)

ANYWAY

Things are goin really good for me... I'm fixin to buy a new car after I do my income taxes.... So things are going great for me right now...

My Mom Dad and I are getting along great... even Mallory... My Dad got an excellent job he makes like $23 an hour... and my mom finally got approved for her SSI... but the docs say it looks like her back is gettin worse not better with the treatment... :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

:'(

I think about Robbie a lot.... I've visited him a couple times...

But yea... I think thats about it for now.. I hope ya'all enjoy my lovely entry...

blah...

well well well

2005-05-04T17:37:13Z

I'm sure most of you know by now... I'm home... I moved back home after psycho threatened to slit my throat and he said I was "hit" so yea I came home!

Its good to be home... I missed it way too much... It was quite the expirience while I was in Muskegon... but... We live we learn... it was a mistake... and I don't necissarily regret it... but I think I shouldn't have moved there with him so soon... but... ya live ya learn!

So yea... he's still threatening me... tellin me I'm still hit up blah blah blah... Honestly I dont give two shits... he can say what he wants...

But yea... I'm home.. back to hanging out with friends... havin a good ol' time.. ya know...

I missed you all!!!! damnit!!! lol!

alrighty I made it short n sweet... I'll update later...

<3 Meggan

welppppppppp

2005-04-13T19:48:07Z

well everyone.. here I am up in good ol' muskegon... well grand haven... but same difference.... things are goin good... Bills bday is sunday... so saturday we are havin a mad ass party... I'm buyin him a keg for his bday... this is gonna be fun...

but yea other than that things are goin pretty good...

talkin to my mom... we are ok now... before she hated me... now were cool again which is good...

Bill just got a new dog... pittbull... shes a beast... shes 2 her names china... shes about to go into heat so were matin her... and I get pick of the litter for a puppy since I can't get my kitty up here.... I'm excited about that... yayers... lol...

thats about it... for now... bye everyone..

<3 Meggan <3

Well Peoples...

2005-03-14T04:25:14Z

Well everyone this is going to be one of my last entries... I might do a few more... but I'm moving to Muskegon... and I wont have the net for a while... so yea...

I'm tired of living here with my parents... they take literally eveyr dollar I make from workin my ass off but they wont get off their ass' and get a job themselves...

I'm not their personal money tree... It's ridiculous... Really though... I work my ass off for my money and have nothing to show for it...

So Will and I are gettin our own place... with his bro... I'm so happy... :-D I need this... I feel bad I have to lie to my mom... and I'm just gettin up and leaving... I'm not telling her or warning her... or anything... I'm sneakin out in the middle of the nite most likely... I'm gonna start packin my shit... I'm not takin everything right now... Just the necessities... most of my clothes... my makeup.. hair stuff.. and blankets right now... Then I'll be back to get my Nevaeh.. I can't take her just yet... we have to get settled in first... But then I can come get her... I'm sure as hell not leavin her here forever... I'll be back to get her... I love that damn cat... but yea... anyway... back to the moving situation...

This is going to be interesting... Wills mom said we could use her grand prix... and pay her off as we get going... so I have a car...

Oh. I am so effin excited... and I'll be livin with Will <3<3<3<3

Wow. I never seen this day coming.... Its mad crazy...

CRAZY I TELL YOU CRAZY....

LoL

I'm off everyone...

G'nite, G'bye... You know the routine...

PS IF YOUR ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS AND YOU READ THIS... DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT TELL CORTNEY... I AM GOING TO TELL HER MYSELF... THANK YOU... AND

DO NOT TELL MY PARENTS THANK YOU.!!!!!!!

<3 Meggan

Will <3

2005-03-09T06:20:39Z

Not much to update about... Just workin a lot... Talkin to <3 Will <3 a lot... hmmm... I partied at Joshs house on Friday nite.. That was fun... I got trashed... I haven't gotten that drunk in a while.. it was pretty fun... but yea...

Hmph... This sucks.. I like Will a lot... and he lives like 2 hours away :-( that makes me sad... I wanna see him sooooooo bad... but he doesn't drive and theres no way in hell for 1 my car will make it that far... and for 2 my parents would ever let me drive that far to go see him... so that sucks ass... yea.. but yea... it sucks.. cuz I like him... a lot... and hes so sweet.. nice.. HOT.. funny.. and we just... click... ya know??? but hes gotta live like forever away... and that sucks... I tend to find myself falling for guys that live a far way away... wtf is up with that shit... whatever though... he's awesome... and the highlight of my day is talking to him.. no matter what mood I'm in he makes me smile... and the other day I freaked out on him and I felt horrible for it... but everythings ok now.. so thats good.

But yea..

on an ending note. will= hot, sexy, sweet, funny, lil thug boy... wow... everything I want in a guy...

doesn't it figure..

<3 May <3

wow. lots to update about.

2005-03-03T20:19:30Z

K. so ... theres a lot to say.

So I'm talkin to this guy Will. Hes super hot. and super sweet. and yea... and we talk ALL the time. hes supposed to be comin down here sat to see me... but I work sat... :-\ so that super sucks :-(

But still.. I like him a lot... andyea... its gay.

Anyway.

Cortney spent the nite last nite and we took like 5464654 pictures. LoL.

www.picturetrail.com/madamemay

there they all are pretty much.

so yea.. last nite was hilarious. we had quite a few good times... LoL... it was fun... but yea... the funniest thing was she went to lay down on my bed and outta nowhere you hear "as i lay me down to sleep" I guess she layed on my talkin carebear it scared the shit outta both of us... funny shit... but yea..

there isn't much more to update about...

not a lot is going on...

'cept I'm not really talkin to Jon anymore... my choice... I figured nothings really gonna happen between us... hes too far away... and hes not makin any attempt to come see me only me going to see him... so yea... Im just fed up with that... not that I don't cre about him anymore... but yea...

blah blah blah

2005-02-14T04:09:39Z

So... Not much to talk about... went out with Cortney yesterday... got really stoned with my mom...
then met Camron... he's a cutie... we should be hanging out again soon... Cortneys awesome... I love her... really though... she knows what to do to cheer me up when I need it...

So... Devin got mad at me again yesterday cuz he read my journal and got like super pist ... but w/e... its all good... I'd rather not have a long distance type of relationship... it's too hard on me... I fear hurting too much... thats why I think I was lookin for an excuse to quit talkin to Jon... cuz I fear that I might actually meet him and like him more... then have to come home... and if I dont talk to him then I dont have to meet him... which makes everything easier I guess???

IDK... its gayness truly is... oh well thats my life though...

just a big eff up... what else is new...

leave me comments... cheer me up... :-\

<3 May <3

Valentines Day. Gayness.

2005-02-12T18:29:05Z

So... Valentines Day is in two days... and this royally sucks... two years ago... I was with Robbie... last year I was alone... and I had to have surgery... shitty... I hate Valentines Day... I miss being with someone... actually being with someone... not just "talking" I want to be with someone... I want them to want me the way I want them... I want them to care about me ... and love me... for who I am... and I want to be able to talk to that person about whatever and not worry about how they might think of me after that... I dont know... I'm just really depressed right now... and it sucks... I hate feeling this way...

But like in my last entry told you I've been talkin to this guy for a lil under a year now... and all that good stuff... well IDK I'm done talkin to him... the way he talks to me and the way he acts gives me two different signals... and he made me cry last nite.. and IDK I just dont like it anymore... usually he makes me feel so good about myself and whatnot... but lately... he just makes me feel like shit... mainly ever since he moved to FL... before he moved there he never acted like this or anything... I dont know... I'm just tired of getting hurt.. and screwed over... it's really getting old... honestly... Oh well though... I guess thats just my life...

I miss Robbie... a lot... and IDK... I've been crying lately more now than before... and it sucks... I love him... and I dont think he knew it... after everything he did to me I would still have taken him back... I love him sooo much... but he's gone now... and theres nothing I can do about it... and thats the worst feeling..

I wonder why I bother????? I wonder why I cry???? I go through all this trouble... I do it for drugs... I do it for just feel like I have... I do it for the love... that I get from the bottom of a bottle....

I can't really think of anything good in my life right now to update about...

I'm supposed to hang out with Camron today... we'll see if that happens since the last two times hes hoed me out... what a shocker.. eh?

alright... I'm out...

bye ya'all

you know the drill...
comment...
or get kicked in the ass...

kthnx... bye...

<3 Meggan <3

Long Time No Update

2005-02-11T19:07:37Z

Welllllllll then...

I dont know what to say right now...

A lot of shit has gone down since last time I updated...

I'm not going to update about it all it'd take too long.. LoL..

I had a new job then I quit now I'm a waitress... thinkin about going back to what I was doing though.. better money... funner... ect..

Valentines Day is comin up... its quite depressing... I hate it... everybodys just like "its another hallmark holiday" yea well that fuckin hallmark holiday makes single people like me depressed... fuckers!!!! LoL

So theres this person I've been talkin to for like close to a year now and I like him A LOT! and he says he likes me too... but yea... idk its confusing... he lives so damn far away... its depressing I'm supposed to go to see him... but IDK when or all that stuff...

bah.
gayness.
i.
hate.
love.
and.
cute.
couples.

alright peoples...

you know the drill..
comment.

<3 May <3

blah blah blah

2004-08-31T01:35:57Z

So... long time no update...

not much interesting happening thats why..
blake and I broke up I just didn't wanna be with him anymore
we still hang out though... once in a while... but I got a job...

working at gibralters... thur-sun... long days... but good money so its all good... :-D

uhmm... Mike came home a few days ago I'm so happy I missed his sexy ass... but yea... I was supposed to go see him sun but that fucker went to a party so I'm kinda pist right now... well... really pist right now...

anyway

nothing else interesting happening I got my ears repierced today... boring shit... wed I get my paycheck.. YAY.. LOL... but yea... about 205 I wanna say...

my cars running...

I just gotta get plates n shit for it... damnit... grrr

I'm irratated right now...

I'm single again... by my choice but I hate it...

Anthony and I have been talking a lot again... hes hot.. n sexy... n mmmm... good sex ;-)

LOL I miss Anthony sex...

=-O

I"m bad I'mgoing to shutup now...

g'nite everyone

MUAHS!!!

<3 May <3

DEJA VU!!!!!!! OH YEA BABY!!!!!!!

2004-07-21T07:07:55Z

Ok so the past few days have been crazy... just hanging out with blake and aubray and matt a lot as usual BUT OMG THIS WEEKEND!

THIS PAST WEEKEND I MEAN!
I went up north with Cortney... it was fun times as always... we are the paris hilton and nicole richie of up north. HELL YEA and I got tanned oh yea i rock.. haha and I rode int he motor boat and we broke the golf cart twice.. not once but TWICE! MWAHAHAHAHA but yea it was fun! The BEST part was when I came home...

I HAVE A FUCKING CAR HELL YEA I HAVE A CAR DUDE SERIOUSLY I HAVE A CAR AND I LOVE IT IT ROCKS ITS IN PERFECT CONDITION EXCEPT A DENT INT HE DOOR... AND MY DADS PAYIN THE FIRST THREE MONTHS INSURANCE ON IT TOO!!!!!!!!!1 OMG IM OVERLY EXCITED!

Today Blake and I spent the day together.. except till about 8 when Matt came over..

then we went to DEJA VU fuckin awesome strip club seriously the girls there rock... hahaha i loved it I'm so going back again one day seriously... :-D I'm gonna start going once a week LMFTO jk jk... but yea seriously it was hella fun! and I got a lapdance... and some hot chick purred in my ear and licked it and I was totally turned on.. lol

then.. the ride home.. omg the ride home... Matt drove... Blake and I were in the back seat... yea... first time I ever got pleasure froma guy going down on me... NOW HE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!! fuck yea...

I'm in a good ass mood right now...

Yea... Blake took me to look at rings today =-O... dont worry jsut a promise ring... no engagments yet! lol... but yea...

I'm going to leave it at that... I'm out time for bed for me I'm tired as HELL!

g'nite loves!

<3 May <3

I <3 Blake

PEACHY KEEN

2004-07-14T20:07:41Z

K. So last nite was the first nite Aubray didn't stay the nite in like a week and a half lmfto... we have had too much fun... but she promised her dad shed stay home for the rest of the week...

but that doesn't mean the weekend MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... ok I'm a dork...ANYWAYS!

Last nite Aubray. Blake. Matt and I went to Tiki Bobs and it was hella fun... girls nite free... woop woop woop I will so go to a club again just never wearin the boots I was.. haha... but I hurt my ankle... ouchies... but I'm ok...

yea all I been doing it hanging out with Blake. Matt. and Aubray... we have fun together.. I went swimming yesterday... cuz I got this new bandage where its waterproof.
so yeaaaaaaaaaaa

but yea...

Cortney is once again mad at me... cuz I wont get into a car with her untill she gets mroe driving expierince but fuck it... dude seriously... if she doesn't understand that I dont trust her driving yet... I rode in a car with her and I dont like her driving... I'm sorry... but thats how I feel... if you dont understand that... then oh well fuck it...

but I'm out

I <3 Blake...

<3 May <3

~* o0o0o0o0o0o0o baby *~

2004-07-09T07:51:09Z

Boy oh Boy do I have some shit to tell you livejournalers!!!!! haha~!

ok so my last update was thursday.

Well Friday. I went to my aunts extra early and stayed there all day pretty much Cindel came over. then we picked up Cortney and then Aubray came over after work. Then we chilled for a while then Blake came over after work too. and we fucked around outside my aunts condo... then Blake and I were laying on a blanket and we were all fucking around and then Blake started to have a seizure. I knew that he had had a few in the past but I didn't expect to see him have one... and it just scared me soooooooo bad I just kinda freaked out and didn't know exactly what to do.. but then not even 5 minutes later he came out of it he didn't black out or anything... THANK GOD! but it scared me and he and I both think it happened for a reason. cuz it really brought us a lot closer. but yea after his siezure his mom came and picked him up from my aunts and yea... that was that pretty much...

Saturday... Well Cortney and I went to Cortneys house friday nite and stayed there. cuz her mom wanted us to drive with her to take Suzy to the vet. so we did. then Cortneys family came over for 4th of July. Aubray came over too. we watched her dads fireworks... I got scared LOL... it was fun times...BLAKE AND I MADE IT OFFICIAL THAT WE WERE A COUPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Sunday...I chilled at Cortneys then Blake took Cortney Aubray and I to this kid Andrews house but we felt out of place so we left... then went to Blakes... drank a lil... then we left.

Monday... I was at my aunts house and Gary came and got me and we went to Blakes and Gary tried to talk shit about Blake sayin he had like 4 other gfs blah blah blah!!!! shit talker. that pist me off!!!!!!!! ass. But I talked to Blake and he assured me that I'm the only one he wants.. and all that good stuff... so yea...

Tuesday... Aubray came over my aunst house around 3 and we hung out there till about 10 then went to Blakes and hung out with Blake and Matt and we bitched out Gary for being a bad friend to Blake...Then Matt gave us all a sex talk and Blake went behind his garage to pee and I was like omg i'm going to rape him and Aubray and Matt were like DO IT!! so I went back there I was going to rape him... but I didn't we just talked and made out... it was funny though they thought I was actually gonna rape him... cuz he started to walk back from behind the garage and I ran up and pushed him back there again and he was all like WHOA... it was funny... ANYWAY(S) :P Aubray LOL

Weds... I went to Blakes house at about 430 and we hung out there with his family. by ourselves for a lil while... then Matt came down... and we cleaned Blakes car... he got a car yyyyaaaaaayyyyyyyy lol *BRUSHA BRUSHA BRUSHA* ahahahahaha then we came to my house and Aubray met us here and we watched My Dog Skip *tear* and then Blake and Matt went home and Aubray stayed the nite here and we went to the gas station at 430 am for a pop lmfto. were such dorks I LOVE YOU AUBRAY!!!!!!!

Today.. well today we chilled at my house... I died the underneath of my hair purple :D:D:D:D:D and Aubray and I were sittin there talkin to my mom and we were talking about Blakes baby and my moms like I hope you dont come home and say none of that I'm pregnant stuff shes like I dont want to be hearing no Nana and Papa yet... and this one day at WalMart waitin for my moms scrips I saw this box of condoms of like 150 I was like WTF who is gonna use that many condoms... and my moms like well I'm going to buy those for you n Blake and I'm like MOM! and I started to talk about my headache cuz a side effect of the shot is gettin a headache and shes like OMG *THROWS HANDS IN AIR AS TO PRAISE THE LODRD OR SOMETHING LMFTO* I dont have to buy you condoms your on the shot!!!! YES!!!! like shes way excited like she KNOWS Blake and I are going to have sex I'm all like WTF LMFTO it was hilarious then we picked Blake up from work at about 1030 hung out with him and Matt untill about 1200 then Matt went home cuz I was pist at him cuz he made some fat comment about our waitress and I got pist and he just pist me off so there goes my idea of going camping with them... but w/e I dont want to have to deal with his shit... he can be nice like 99% of the time we get along great but tonite he psit me off like no other... and Aubray and I were gettin ready to leave Shes like "Well were gonna bounce... oh wait no were fat so maybe we'll roll" lmfto it was HILARIOUS. we just joke about it like no other now. but yea...now were here and we got wendys cuz blake <3s me and gave me money even tho I refused to take it he gave it to aubray punkass... OH YEA! HE BOUGHT ME A NEW PHONE CHARGER.... 30 BUCKS. 30 FUCKIN DOLLARS... and that was friday... and we werent even going out yet... hes so sweet... I'm not used to being treated like that... but yea then he gave me money for food tonite too.... and they gave me the wrong fucking food damn them... then Aubray and I went and bought cigs with all change to piss of the guy who is working at the gas station it was HILARIOUS. but yea now here i am...

blake... I like him... a lot... like A LOT A LOT like its crazy... I can't even explain it... he treats me better than ANY of my other bfs have.... ANY of them... and I'm loving it.... he always pays for me... he is just way sweet... and his mom likes me his dad likes me and EVEN HIS SISTER and according to everyone his sister NEVER likes his gfs and she likes me... lol...Blake said it scares him... LoL... but I like it... I want his whole family to like me seriously dude...

but ok I'm going to go now... I'll talk to you all later...

LEAVE ME COMMENTS YOU BIAS!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P

<3 May <3

Interesting Days

2004-07-02T06:23:17Z

Welp! Lemme tell you. I'm in a much bette mood these past few days... its excellent!

Ok so Fri and Sat I hung out with Aubray. of course. cuz I love her and we have way too much fun together. then Sunday I went out with Cindel. She wanted to get a new phone. Then Aubray Cindel and I hung out. and we decided to have kinda like a sleep over we slept outside in my tent thing a ma bob. and got drunk. it was great. then nick and brad came over. even more fun... then monday cindel went home and Aubray and I chilled at my house for a while and I called Gary and we went and hung out with Gary. Matt. and Blake... went to Blakes for a while... then we came back to my house. Aubray stayed the nite again and we got drunk again... and Blake and I got kinda frisky under the blankets ;-)then they went home at about 1 and aubray and I pretty much passed out lol then Tues we just chilled at aubrays all day... then weds we went to blakes again and hung out there for a while... and we had tons of fun Blake and Gary got kinda tipsy and we drove them to taco bell so their drunk ass' could get some food. fun times LOL lemme tell you...

it was sooooooooooooo cute... Blake asked if he could kiss me... sweetness... he didn't just go in for it... just like in the tent he said is it ok if I do this or that or w/e but he was like "is it ok if I give you a kiss" I was like awwwwwwwwwwwww of course! hes so sweet...

then Gary Aubray and Blake came over today and we watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Scariness! :-( but Blake was holding me :-P

oh yea i have to point out he answered his phone and his friend asked where he was and he was like "Im at my girls house" AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *big time smile* like a permigrin seriously!

Ok. so I like Blake. A lot. and how odd is it we both wanna name our daughter Nevaeh. how many people in this world are like that?? we have so much in common its not even funny... but I like it.. hes awesome... he can be a cocky lil mother fucker.. but hes so sweet also... and I know when hes jokin...

BUT!!! he just had a baby on fathers day... he got tested yesterday to make sure its his...

:-|

just kinda blah about that whole situation. but I dont look down on him for it... just if things do keep going like they are now... I just dont want any drama from the babys mom. ya know????

but I'm happy for him ... either which way I wont let it stop me from liking him...

yea. onto depressing shit... my cut on my stomach reopened and I went to the doc and she did a culture said it wasn't right she never seen anything like this before gave me an antibiotic. and sent me on my way. I was like WTF you aren't even going to check it or anything... WTF

so were calling SAM BERNSTIEN lmfto... yea... its bullshit supposed to take 6 weeks to heal I'm going on 6 months now... its ridiculous and I can't even get back to work yet!

this is bullshit...

but yea I'm out...

more later...

comment me fuckers...

<3 May <3

~* I'm So Selfish *~

2004-06-20T07:05:53Z

Ok... so I've been told I'm selfish before... but now I truly realize it...

So I broke up with Anthony.. why you ask??? oh just cuz I'm selfish...

We'd been going out for like a week and a half and I'm used to spending a lot of time with my boyfriend right... but Anthony.. I only got to see once in a while... hes so busy all the time... hockey.. friends... whatnot...

but I'm selfish and I like to be with my boyfriend a lot... but we never were together barely...

even tho we only went out for a little while... its weird... I am just like wow... I feel like we went out for a long time.. now... hes gone... IDK... I liked him.. a lot... how I liked him so much in such a short period of time amazes me...

wow... and now he wont talk to me or anything... I try to apologize.. he ignores it... I try to twoway him... he doesn't twoway back... then some days if I IM him it'll be his sister... and I'm all like wow... sorry.... IDK... I just ...

I hate myself at this point...

I can never do anything good in a relationship... I feel like I'm a horrible gf...

Then I was talkin to Devin the other nite.. and he said he thinks I give it up too easy... which I think might be the truth.. I mean its only been 5 guys... but damn... all but one was kinda long term relationships... IDK... this sucks...

I try to go out have fun... but like twice I thought I saw him.. odd? yes.. pretty much...

I give up...

I really do...

I'm going to get the hell outta MI (esp since its June and 1- we have our heat on. 2- I can see my breathe outside) I just wanna get away... somewhere...

ANYWHERE....

fuck... i'm going to go...

to bed maybe??? wait for a phone call... :-\ which I highly doubt I'll get...

wow I suck...

<3 May <3

~* HmPh *~

2004-06-13T16:44:26Z

Not really much to update about.

my self confidence is so small right now its not even funny.

usually when i have a bf my self confidence is sky high. but like I never barely see him he's too busy training for the season or w/e... I'm not used to not being able to see my bf when I want to... and it sucks... I miss him... and I do like him... a lot... but bah... it gets irratating...

IDK... but were supposed to hang out today... but IDK if thats going to happen... hopefully... cuz I ahven't seen him since like tues? wow... thats a while ago... that sucks... :( oh well...

not much more to say...

comment if you want...

bye...

~ MEGGAN ~

blah

2004-06-04T18:05:39Z

Ok. So its friday. Whats going on tonite? who knows yet.

I know I'm hanging out with Anthony <3 sometime this weekend. just dont know when yet. And then I dont know whats going on after that. Blah.

I'm so bored. I'm sittin at home. Bored. and Cortneys cleaning. Cindels working. Anthonys... probably still sleeping. LoL.

Yea. Not much to say. I updated last nite. Just wanted to put this lil bit in here.

Anthony read my journal last nite =-O.

heh.

Yea ok. I'm going to go now.

LEAVE ME COMMENTS DAMNIT. ....
fuckers....

LOL...

<3 Meggan <3

Not much to say

2004-06-04T03:12:51Z

Not much to update about. last nite I hung out with Aubray. And Anthony came to see us at Coneys even tho it was like 1230 am he got out of his house even though he was tired and came to see me and Aubray. We chilled there till about 2 and then we left....

and we established last nite that we are going out. So. I have a bf :-D.

And hes hot.
And hes a hockey player.
And hes got beautiful eyes.

LoL. I'm a dork. I so just met this kid a few days ago. and he awes me. LoL. yes. wow. Ok I'm done.

But yea. I'm on the phone with Cortney. So I'm going to go now. Bye all.

<3 Meggan <3

~BLAH~

2004-06-02T20:22:15Z

Ok. So not a lot to update about.

Friday- I babysat for my Aunt. I haven't done that in forever. Cortney came with. and Robbie ended up comin over for a while. It was weird seeing him. eh. IDK. it was good times though. Then... we went out with Aubray and Nicole it was soo much fun :-D we cruised Gratiot. and I had soooooooooooooooo much fun. it was crazy crazy crazy nite. :-D.

Saturday- Tech Fest. Great times. Got lost in downtown detroit at 130 am. not cool. quite scary. then... we went to this kids house. and yea... he tried to get in my pants then called my phone the next day and thought he was talkina bout the girl he actually fucked and said " dont bring that other girl I was messin with her. but I actually thought she was kinda ugly" so yea. I was like wtf. do you know who your talkin to. LoL he felt like an ass... and he still called me after that. but w/e. Uhmmm yea... that was my saturday.

Sunday- hung out with my cinderella. we got pics developed. from her bday party. It was crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had fun though. We def have to get a limo again just for the hell of it. cuz yea it was great.

Monday- Nothing. Spent time with my oh so lovely family. *rolls eyes*

Tuesday- Ok. So this was an excellent day. I've been talkin to this kid Anthony. hes hot. hes a hockey player. and he came and got me and we went to his house and chilled at his house... watched supertroopers... and yea... LOL... good times... *THANKS* hahahahahahahahahahahaha ok inside joke. yea. if you knew it it'd be funny to you to... :-D... but I had so much fun with him. Hes so sweet. So kind. So.. MmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmM YuMmY!!! hehehehhhehhehehehehehe. it was good times. But yea. thats about it.

Today. I went to get my job back cuz my mom said I should be ok to go back to work after my surgery. so I went to the store and the guy basically told me I dont have a job there anymore even though just monday he was askin when I was comin back to work but now I dont have a job. wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean seriously. Its bullshit. complete bullshit. IDK what to do. I dont have a job now.

ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN GET A FUCKIN JOB. lol. yea.

So yea. blah... thats about it...

I hope I hang out with Anthony tonite. :-D hes at hockey right now. he started hockey at 3 probably be done at like 6 or 7 :-\ so yea hopefully we'll hang out tonite :-D

Welp. I'mgonna go. Leave me some loves. bye everyone.

<3 Meggan <3

~ WOW. THEY GOT STRANDED ~

2004-05-27T03:10:50Z

Ok. So Valerie wanted to come see me last nite. outta the blue. and heres the story. have fun ;-)

Ok so I must say I love Valerie to death. TO DEATH. She rocks. and I couldn't see my life w/o her in it right now.

Ok so last nite at like 130AM she calles WERE{refering to Josh. *hot hot hot* Josh *her cuz* and Mike*hot too*} COMIN TO SEE YOU! I'm like YAAA!!!!! all excited and shit... they are drivin here everythings ok... then they started to hear some clickin noise.. tick tick tick tick.. and then a lil while later they hear a bang. and the clickin stops they're all like YEA!!!! then the car stals... thank god it was like 15 mins from my house... then they are walking at like 230 am and they get stopped by the cops... then the cops drive them to my house. thankfully my mom said they could stay here... and so I had the three guys and valerie here at my house. some of you saw us on cam last nite being crazzzzzzzzy so yea... it was a fun ass nite ONCE AGAIN I love valerie. I have too much fun with that girl... I got made fun of a lot... well not got made fun of but... teased... for the *me and Josh situation* yea. it was good times though... it was GREAT times... idk it was just too fuckin crazy... too crazy... then we tried to fit FIVE... YES FIVE PEOPLE on my twin size bed. but it didn't quite work out... so Josh and I slept on the floor... no one did much sleeping... we were pretty much up all nite talking... LoL except Val. she slept... hahah ilu valerie... omg... idk so many details that i could've put in that story right there but I didn't. My parents aren't even mad. they just wish that this would have been planned not just a spur of the moment thing at like 130 am LOL but they said that ya'all could come back and stay a few days if you want :D just bring sleepin bags this time ;-) LoL mannnnnnnn crazy shit...

æHIGHLIGHTS OF THAT NITEæ
æJosh*hot* stealin like 80 cabillion of my darvocets
æGetting teased for givin Josh good head lmfto
æFighting with Josh*hot* over the damn pizza
æSpanking Joshs*hot* ass
æMike writin on Joshs tummy "Meggan gave me a blow job" then havin arrows pointin down. lmfto. he mustve liked it... a lot... cuz they talked about it a lot... then he claimed I did it again last nite BUT I DIDN'T. SORRY. maybe next time we chill ;-) or maybe more ;-) lmfto sooooooooo jk ok i'm done LMFTO
æTrying to fit FIVE people on my little bed. lmfto.
æJosh*hot* cut my lawn
æI cooked breakfast :D
æJosh*hot* puked... LOL... its ok. it happens to the best of us :D
æValerie stole my Carolina hoodie
æJosh*hot* stole my playboy hat :(. but he let me keep the pic of his gf that he "loves oh so much" lmfto. right anyways.
æMy mom accusing the poor boys of stealin her ATM card when it was layin right on her bed... I'm sorry guys. *muahz*

omfg yea I think thats it... I'm done now... they went home *whew* it was good times... but that has ended... they had fun in my shower with my Herbal Essences... lmfto... Josh had to scrub his chest pretty hard to get that permanent marker off. cuz he was supposed to see his G/F today LMFTO.. cracks me up... hes hot... I want his sexy body... LMFTO

ok I think I'm done... the pic next to the rant is of us... i look hella shitty... I just woke up of only TWO HOURS of sleep LOL but yea... Josh *hot one* is the one by me. Mike is the one by Valerie.

I noticed. Vals cuzin wasn't much in this nite... wtf... Josh. Next time. Join in on the fun more often ass.. :-D you rock. :-D

Ok I love you guys. muahs.

<3 May <3

woo woooooooooo

2004-05-20T15:39:09Z

Ok so I have a story to tell y'all. ok so right. this girl from blingshot. Valerie. we became real good friends over the internet. and she had been planning to come see me for the longest time. well yesterday she finally did come and I was soooooooooooooooo excited. it was crazy. it was like we've known each other forever. It was great. well at first she came to my house. and then... I came back with her to Toledo... so Im' in Toledo Ohio right now woop woop I'm going to be going home soon though. omg here it is sooooooooo much fun no one has any idea. there are sooooooooooooooo many hot guys. and its just crazyness. complete crazyness... I love it... we had so many times last nite omg... lmto... we just had great fun... like omg. shes like my best friend now and I'm soooo gonna come to toledo all the time now. it'll be good times... and I met this Josh kid here... and hes hotttttttttt... and yea.. we did stuff hahahahahahahaahh O:-) I was soooooooo fuckin drunk and high it wasn't even funny... omg... I swear I had so much fun last nite it wasn't even funny the most fun I've had in a while... it was complete udder crazyness... first we went to her cuzins where I did like 3 80 proof vodka shots. smoked some then we went to this bar. drank a beer... then went to this Egyptian Suite hotel party... it was sooooooooooo awesome... so awesome... drank more... screwdrivers and Mikes... omfg... it was good times then we smoked some more and then we went back to Valeries cuzins house... and Valerie and her bf did their thang... and I went and did my thang with this Josh kid who was mighty fuckin hotttttttt... *NO SEX* there was nooooooooo sex going on for you pervs out there... LOL..we just did.... stuff.... no details are needed for this occasion.... but yea he was hot... but uhmm...

he has a gf :O I feel bad... butI was drunk and I didn't give a fuck... but yea... that is about all I will give more details later. I'll post the link to my rant in here... that will go detail by detail. hahahahahahahahaahhaaha....

love you guys...

<3 Meggan <3

~BLAH~

2004-05-16T18:39:21Z

Ok well...

I'm not talkin to that 'someone' anymore. He has a g/f. The one he loves. So Im happy for him. Hes happy. And if hes happy. Thats whats good for him. I just have to pick up and move on with my life. Thats what I gotta do. IDK. Life goes on. I guess. IDK. I dont know what to do how to feel how to express my emotions anymore. and its so hard... to not be able to have the one person you have so many feelings and so many emotions for. Thats another reason I pushed him away so much. I can't physically be with him. and I dont like knowing that. I love that physical in a relationship. IDK. I just. I can't handle all this. I need a vacation. A permanent one. I just want to go somewhere... start over new.... IDK I just... want everything to be ok in my life. for me to actually be happy... with SOMETHING in my life... but im happy about nothing... nothing at all... well... i just got my tongue repierced...so I guess I'm happy about that... but wtf... thats gonna last how long???? not long at all... IDK I guess I'm going to go... I dont want this to be some long ass gay fuckin entry.

i hate being alone...

i hate not having you...

i hate myself...

for screwing everything up...

im done....

<3 Meggan <3

~~ Quiz Time ~~

2004-05-06T03:43:58Z

1. name: Meggan~Ashley

2. single or taken: Single.. Still.. unfortinitly
3. sex: female
4. birthday: October 15
6. siblings: Mallory
7. hair color: Brown, chestnut and lite red highlites
8. eye color: Lite Brown
9. shoe size: 7-7.5
10. height: 5'1 if that.

r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. who is your best friend?: Cortney! Cindel! Renee!
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Fuck Off. I just answered if I was single or not. asshole

f a s h i o n s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: The mall... DUH
2. any tattoos or piercings: I had to take them all out... fuckers..(surgery)

s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs?: Not much... weed here there...
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: Herbal Essences... Intense.. ohh yea *moans in shower* hahaha
3. what are you most scared of?: Being alone forever
5. who is the last person that called you?: Rob
6. where do you want to get married?: who fuckin knows. who knows if I'm even gonna get married.
7. how many buddies are online right now?: Uhm about 50
8. what would you change about yourself?: Better question. what wouldn't I change about myself?

f a v o r i t e s
1. color: PURPLE!!!
2. food: Hmm.. I like fruit..
3. boys names: _junior, Brayden, Tyler
4. girls names: Nevaeh, Taylor, Madison,
5. subjects in school: Bah, IDK I did good in school, but didn't have a fav...
6. animals: I love all animals...
7. sports: sex

h a v e y o u e v e r
1. given anyone a bath?: Yea..
2. smoked?: Yea.. bad habit
3. bungee jumped?: I want to...
4. made yourself throw up?: Yup...
5. skinny dipped?: Oh yes...
6: ever been in love?: Yes. sadly.
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: LoL yea!!!
8. pictured your crush naked?: I have pictures of my crush naked!! hah!!! he gave them to me... I'm not a stalker!!!
9. actually seen your crush naked?: Yes.
10. cried when someone died?: Of course
11. lied: Uh yea!
12. fallen for your best friend?: Yes.
13. been rejected?: Yea.. too many times.
14. rejected someone?: yes :(
15. used someone?: NO!
16. done something you regret?: Yup.... too many times.

c u r r e n t
clothes: White Tshirt. Boxers.
music: Mixtape - Brand New
make-up: Black eyeliner. black mascara. simple.
annoyance: Whores. stupid bitches.
smell: Perry Ellis 360*
favorite group: who fuckin knows.
desktop picture: A picture. someone made for me of me. hah its the shit.
book youre reading: None.
in cd player: Mixed CD
in dvd player: Soul Survivors
color of toenails: peach colorish

l a s t | p e r s o n
you touched: Hmmm My mom to give her a hug g'nite
hugged: *hence above*
you imed: Devin
you yelled at: Rob
you kissed: Uhm. no?

a r e | y o u
understanding: sure
open-minded: Definitly
arrogant: Sometimes.
insecure: Always.
interesting: Yes
random: yes
hungry: not now
smart: Sometimes
moody: Sometimes
hard working: yea... i hate my job... LoL
organized: Eh. Once in a while.
healthy: sometimes
shy: never!!!
difficult: I'm definitly not easy... LoL
attractive: No.
bored easily: Can be
messy: Only with my room... all the rest of the house has to be perfect!!
obsessed: Uhh no thank you

R A N D O M

In the morning i am: Giddy
all i need is: someone here with me... :-(
love is: well it can be beautiful or it can suck major ass.
i dream about: Shit. IDK. I dont remember.

o p p o s i t e s e x
what do you notice first: Smile, eyes, and the way they talk
last person you slow danced with: Hmmm... Jaydon I think? LoL. thats sad. Proms the last time i slow danced. haha.
worst question to ask: "You think we shouldnt talk anymore?"
who do you have a crush on: Devin...
who has a crush on you: Who fuckin knows.

d o y o u e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?:Uhhh no... can we say psycho?!?!?!?!?!
wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: Somedays... I'd like to be able to masturbate with apenis once. and be able to pee standing up.
wish you were younger: somedays
cried because someone said something to you?: Of course... people can be harsh

N u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: A few
of hearts i have broken: couldn't tell ya
of guys ive kissed: LOL right
of girls ive kissed: RIGHT!!!
of continents i have lived in: 1
of tight friends: Uhmm.. IDK
of cds i own: A lot
of scars on my body: wow... a few... and now a big one on my tummy :'(

F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s
1. do you like fillings these out?: not really but i have nothing better to do
2. gold or silver: silver
3. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: I dont remember
7. favorite cartoon/anime?: CAREBEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!
8. what did you have for breakfast this morning?: Protein Shake... yummy!?
10. who would you love being locked in a room with right now?: No one. I can't stand anyone right now. I wanna pull out my hair.
11. could you live without your computer? Probably not
12. would you color your hair? Have too many times
13. could you ever get off the computer?: Yea
14. habla espanol? A lil
15. how many people are on your buddy list?: haha A LOT!
16. drink alcohol? yes! :D its fun.

Ok theres a fun lil quiz for you. I had nothing better to do. I'm highly irratated. and I found out my mood swings is due to the shot. so I apologize to everyone. I love you all. for those of you who read this. and have been there for me. you know who you are. I've let you know. ILY and thank you.

<3 May <3

WoW

2004-05-04T04:53:22Z

K... so time for a little update update ...

Devin and I haven't really been on any good terms... just same shit different day... but I guess he has decided to move on... for as many times as I've said I was going to I haven't... but I beleive HE will... omg... this hurts so bad... I've cried so much... I have permanent dark circles... I think... I hate this.. I hate him.. but I love him... and I told him tonite.. that I am puttin up a wall.. cuz he lives so far away... and it scares me... and its the truth... I'm so scared.. that if we talk more I KNOW I will fall for him more than I already have.. then what if we never meet... wtf am i gonna do... IDK... I hate this... but i love him.. I know I do... all I think about... him... mostly what I talk about... him... I mean... I even cried to my mom about him... I have done that with Robbie, and now him... I dont allow my mom to know my personal life with guys that much.. cuz she butts in and tries to give her advice... and I dont want it... I need to learn myself.. thats what the fuck I need to do... wtf... I need to.. stop fuckin up... I ALWAYS do something wrong... I just must not be a person for relationships.. I dont know how to treat a guy.. cuz every guy has .. cheated on me... hated me.. or said that he couldn't stand me.. I mean wtf do I do so wrong? I DONT UNDERSTAND someone please help me... why do I always do something wrong but end up gettin hurt the most in the end... Oh I love you but let me go fuck one of your good friends... oh I love you but let me break up with you cuz I'm tired of your jealousy... oh I love you but I dont want a gf right now... WTFFFFFFFFFF I'm so tired of guys... I'm tired of getting hurt... I'm tired of getting screwed over... I'm tired of falling for someone who doesn't care... I'm tired of... IDK... I'm just tired...

tired of life...
I'm tired of acting happy when I'm not...
I'm tired of being nice and being treated like shit
I'm tired of being by myself...
I'm tired of tryin to cheer everyone else up when I'm depressed myself...
I'm tired of being everyones personal counselor...
I'm tired of being stuck at home cuz I had to have a fuckin tumor...
I'm tired of loving but not being loved...
I'm tired of not being able to have the one person I want more than anything...
I'm tired of being stupid and doing stupid things...
I'm tired of crying...
I'm tired of fighting...
I'm tired of life... in general

I want to die...

*I hate myself and want to die*

I want to be happy... whys that so hard... ?????

why do I have to be depressed?

wow.. my true colors shine thru...

everyone happy now???

hah.. everyone but me...

I try to not let things get to me... but it doesn't work like that... at all...

So.. i've been havin suicidal thoughts... again...

I just want to runaway... IDK if I even want to die as much as I want to run away... just get away... start a new life... be happy... maybe thats what I'll do... Ill just dissapear one day... and no one... NO ONE .. will no where I went.. or where I'm going... or what my plans are... cuz I want to start over... I dont want to be me anymore... change my name... change everything about me... I'll go somewhere NO ONE ever will know where I am.. cuz I'll go somewhere they least expect it..

bye all...

Long Time No Update

2004-05-01T06:31:05Z

So I promised Devin I wouldn't write about him... but at this point I cant help it... we got into a huge fight tues. and we haven't really had a civil convo since...

he called me at 4am on wed. morning... and I dotn remember talkin but I guess the convo was basically him "are you sleeping" me " yes.. bye" *hangs up*

so I ask him about it and he acts all normal the next day like nothing happens... I mean... IDK... its confusin he calls me fat/ugly/ scarred up (from my surgery)

he finds things to hurt me and uses them against me cuz he knows what hurts me ... and I know he does that... and it makes me think if the whole time we talked did he really feel that way... IDK he would always tell me "your still hot" "your scar doesn't mean shit" blah blah... I cant help I fuckin had a tumor and had to get it removed... now you all see why I'm so selfconscious... that fuckin scar is gonna fuck up the rest of my life... seriously... so its friday nite... and I told devin I love him last nite... and he says I'm talkin crazy... jsut cuz we've been fighting... IDK... I shouldn't have told him that... even tho I really do feel that way... its crazy... I like it when we dont fight... but when we're fightin like we are... I cant stand it... I really can't... I dont know how to deal with it anymore... I cut myself the other nite... bad thing... I know...

I cant help it
I cant help how I feel

I mean seriously...

I cant control my emotions...

I am stupid... I screw good things up for myself... I have devin blocked on all my messengers... his number is outta my phone... even tho I still remember it... I have temptation to call it ALL THE TIME!!!! but I know I can't... I know its the best for me maybe???

I just have to think... whats best for me?

to take him offa block and risk gettin yelled at... but what if he doesn't bitch at me... but I dont want to take that risk...

I look at it this way...

if he wants to talk to me that he will call me I guess... right???

last time I talked to him this was pretty much our convo...

me: hello
him: hey... whats up
me: nothin gettin ready to go to bed...
him: want me to let you go...
me: no its fine for now
him: oh ok how was your doc. appt.
me: it was ok I guess not that you care right?
him: whatever.
blah *bunch of senseless shit* about 2 minutes later after explainin our day to each other
him: well i think ima go to bed
me: ok bye
him *click*

so yea... this is gay shit...

I miss him sooooo much and I just want him to call me hella bad... I dont think he reads my journal anymore since its been so long since I last updated... but w/e...

I hope he does read this... so he does know I do care about him and I do love him...

i have so many emotions.. for him.. and i dont know if I like it or hate it... maybe thats why I do dumb stuff... cuz I'm so scared that... idk maybe I'll never meet him?

I mean seriously... how can I have so many emotions/feelings for someone I NEVER FUCKIN MET!!!!!!!

how is that fuckin possible.. I have 20 billion emotions goin on right now
and I dont know how to control them... I dont know what to do with them...

gawd I make some stupid mistakes... but like I said.. how was I sure I'd even ever meet devin... I mean.... he says he cared he 'REALLY LIKED ME' but IDK... to beleive that or not... I'm confused... as all high hell... and I just want my cell to ring and see his damn number on it... I want that more than anything... seriously... I dont like this feeling at all... feeling that I might never talk to him again... really sucks... and in my opinion is scary... idk... once again... I just want everything to be ok... but I know it wont this time... usually we fight over nite... then he calls me at like 330 4 am and everythings ok again.. but not this time we been fightin since tues. and it just sucks hardcore... but like I said before maybe this is for the best????

if its for the best why does it hurt so bad???

I cried last nite.. after he basically told me to fuck off cuz I told him I loved him...

I cried this morning...

once again... so many emotions for a person I never met.. but we talked EVERYDAY... alllllllllllllll day long! literally... sad shit...

IDK... Ima go.. hopefully wait for him to call me... ... wow... pathetic much???

yea I know I am...

bye everyone

<3 May <3

ILUDEVIN

♥ ~ May♥~♥May ~ ♥

So much to update about so little time lol.

well well well

welppppppppp

Well Peoples...

Will <3

wow. lots to update about.

blah blah blah

Valentines Day. Gayness.

Long Time No Update

blah blah blah

DEJA VU!!!!!!! OH YEA BABY!!!!!!!

*PEACHY KEEN*

~* o0o0o0o0o0o0o baby *~

Interesting Days

~* I'm So Selfish *~

~* HmPh *~

blah

Not much to say

~BLAH~

*~ WOW. THEY GOT STRANDED ~*

woo woooooooooo

~BLAH~

~*~ Quiz Time ~*~

WoW

Long Time No Update

PEACHY KEEN

~ WOW. THEY GOT STRANDED ~

~~ Quiz Time ~~